I’m Not a Hooker

Not anymore, anyway, unless under extreme duress. Sometimes you just need a bit of edging and I must acknowledge that for edging, crochet is often the easier tool. Since I began knitting, the only crochet project I have worked on was the afghan I was already working on when I learned to knit.

The reason for this is that I have a chronic inability to count stitches in crochet. Once I lose track, I’m done for. Finished…at least when I’m working flat. Working in the round has always been easier for me, which is perhaps odd, but hats always seemed to work out better than afghans.

Afghan number one was a very simple zig-zag pattern. Not much to mess up, right? Except that I consistently managed to drop a stitch on one side of the afghan, so it has a strange tail. That project is where I set the precedent that I don’t rip back…even if it means I have a mutant on my hands.

Afghan number two was actually quite a pretty lace number, but my (unswatched) gauge was very loose, which meant that (a) it turned out to be ENORMOUS, (b) the lace was too open to make it useful for keeping a person warm, and (c) it’s disconcertingly fragile for a blanket made of a tough acrylic yarn. It’s also the only one currently not in storage or in someone else’s house, so you can see just how unintentionally open it is…

Afghan number three almost started a war between my aunt and mother (not really) because I made it for the fun of it and gave it to my aunt on a whim, since she had admired it. That led me to make afghan number five–same pattern, Mom’s yarn choices. It was a pleasant, easy lattice pattern, but I began with an absurdly large number of stitches, which led to a need for extra length to make the thing proportionate…which took years. Five, to be approximate.

Afghan number four is where my love of crochet really died. I had a combination of not particularly attractive grays and greens that I was working in strips that would need to be sewn together. My gauge was all over the place, but I didn’t check the strips against one another until I had worked all eight of them…. Goodwill got eight extremely ugly scarves for Christmas that year and I packed away my hooks in disgust (until Mom bought the yarn for afghan number five, anyway).

So when I saw an adorable giraffe that I just HAD to make for my sister Joy, you can imagine that I might have felt an inkling of dismay when I realized it was CROCHET. Shudder. Still, it’s impossible to not fall in love with Gigi Giraffe. She’s just SO CUTE! It took me half an hour of digging to find one of my crochet hooks, but I unearthed the rusting (okay, not literally) tool and braved the excavation of my dusty crochet knowledge.

Keep tuned for part two, in which I reveal whether my hapless hooking creating an adorable fuzzy thing or a horrible monstrosity…